Wabbajack

One day, not long before you awoke after finding yourself in the future, there was a mirror that looked into the past. And in front of that mirror without a proper reflection was the Wabbajack.

I was on a beautiful sunny ocean one day, eating the sweetrolls that had become of my enemies, when suddenly a small rodent ran into a nearby watercloset. I chased after it, hoping for dessert, only to find a waistcoated banker. This man looked familiar, as I had once mistaken him for Sheogorath, when he was, in fact, despite the lacking in all physical appearances, Hermaeus Mora.

He said something that didn't make any sense about him actually being a cat, and wondered how I recognized him. But it was clear to me that he looked exactly like an elephant. I have no idea what he was talking about.

Anyway, He demanded that I give back the Wabbajack! Wabbajack. Wabbajack.

Wabbajack. Wabbajack.

Never in all my life had I believed the wonders of this magical book of knowledge could manifest into illusions such as these. I begin to wonder, really, if everyone else truly can't see the inter-connective system as I can? Is it true that people cannot see that all things are and aren't the same? Can dementia truly not be the Duke of Mania? If you prick me, do you not bleed?

So obviously I refused. I earned the Wabbajack! It was my brilliance and forthcoming that brought it to my basement on the 5th of First Seed! If not for all the cat hair and the matching bedding, this would all be for naught!

I had to use it. I didn't think it would come to this - that the Daedric prince of knowledge and ceiling wax would become my enemy! But I had to do it. I told him to go away.

You would think in all my politeness he wouldn't have gotten so rude! He turned inside out with rage screaming, "My name is Sheogorath!" I think he must be mad. There's no such thing as a Sheogorath. But I digress... He proceeded to explode. I found the whole situation to be far too uncomfortable, so I hit him with my Wabbajack staff and ran out through the u-bend.

Stumbling over my own ribcage, I fell into a place that seemed to be an arena of some kind. But because I know the interconnective system so well, I understand that all of what I saw was what I was looking for the whole time!

I sat on a nearby pile of light and had a wonderful time dining on the remains of a large feast the former inhabitants seemed to have left for me. So very polite of them, wasn't it, Wabbajack?

Wabbajack. Wabbajack.
Wabbajack. Wabbajack.
Wabbajack. Wabbajack.