Reasons For Surgery

I was asked by somebody back in December what my reasons were for wanting surgery. I thought it might be enlightening for some people if I were to post those reasons here. Here is the copied response I sent to that person:

"Oh dear, where do I even start... I guess I'll try to list off all the reasons that make surgery worth it to me. But these won't necessarily all be relevant to your situation.

1. It gets rid of my bulge forever so I will never have to tuck again. That's a massive plus in so many ways.

2. It will make it so much easier to use a vibrator.

3. I'll be able to walk through the swimsuit sections of clothing stores without feeling so depressed.

4. I will be able to look at myself in the mirror without having to avoid dysphoric eye contact with my crotch.

5. I will be able to take a shower without feeling dysphoric about my crotch.

6. I will be able to have penetrative sex without having to use the "back door."

7. I will never have of the option to pee standing up again. I hate peeing while standing, and I hate when people suggest it in situations where it would solve problems finding a bathroom. I don't even want the option.

8. It will fix a painful issue that I have with my epididymis, making it so that I can never feel like I'm kicked in the balls again.

9. I will be able to go to the Olympus Spa, an affordable local women-only nude spa.

10. My underwear will fit me properly, allowing me to wear thongs without bulge.

11. I will be able to rub it in people's faces if they ever try to use my genitals as an excuse for me not being a woman, thereby giving me more opportunities to educate bigots.

12. When I jump, I will never feel my genitals flop or jiggle again. Just my boobs, and maybe my stomach.

13. I will most likely feel more confident in every aspect of my life without ever thinking about what I have in my pants as something that will out me."


About 4.5 months after typing this list response, having now gotten through stage 1 of my surgery, I can officially confirm number 13. <3

My Transition - Hygiene

Biological Content Material!

This is literally a post where I talk about what's happening with my genitals. If you don't want to hear about this stuff, you best not read ahead.

You know one of the things about daily life post bottom surgery that I didn't fully critically think about beforehand? The way it would affect my everyday hygiene routines.

Honestly, I knew I was going to have to wipe after peeing, and I had some vagina smell before from the hormones, but wow that smell gets much stronger now if you skip a shower day.

Also diet. I've been making homemade Thai food, and CJ made green curry tonight. These are foods that contain fish sauce, and I have now been reminded first-hand what that means for my nethers.

I don't think other people notice it as much as I do. I'd probably have to sit with my legs wide open and someone's head on my lap after skipping a shower for someone to notice. But whether they do or not, I really like smelling nice. So I've developed a nightly routine of spraying down the area with water in the shower. No soap or anything, of course, I don't want to mess with the microbiome developing down there. Water is sufficient, just to reduce smells. It seems to work quite well, and it's nice to feel clean. 

After a while I didn't like how quickly we were going through toilet paper, so we got a manual bidet sprayer, and I am fully converted. Because of the water rinse every time I pee I've gone from a lightly fishy smell to a lightly floral smell. And this is from water alone.

There really is a special amount of maintenance involved with vulvas. But I suppose that's part of the fun. At least it is for me. ^_^

Independent Change

I was born into a conservative Christian family, assigned a gender, given a name that matches that religion and gender, and all the interactions I had growing up reinforced an identity that I never chose.

I have since disassociated myself from my assigned religion, changed my gender to match my true identity, changed my name to match, and now I fight for people's rights to live their individual lives in peace, as themselves. I will continue to spend years training myself to forget all the subtle treatment I got from people my whole life that reinforced upon me an identity that wasn't mine.

I cannot change my birthplace or race, but I can be aware of what my race represents in the world, and I can behave according to what I believe is right based on that combined with my ideals.

Despite the conditions of our birth, we can still choose to make our own decisions and change our lives to match our own identities and ideals. :)