Biological Content Material!
This is literally a post where I talk about what's happening to my genitals. If you don't want to hear about this stuff, you best not read ahead.
It feels so surreal. I'm not sure it's completely sunk in yet for me. It just feels like I have a really secure tuck, but when I look down I see a vulva. Logically I know that I no longer have a penis, but I've had a penis for so long that the concept of it not being there seems to take a while to process.
When the bandaging came off I felt different sensations. One bandage was stuck to my clitoris, so as it came off I yelped slightly as I felt it come loose. The doctor said that's very good, since that proves I have sensation already. It looks like I have a very good clitoral hood, despite my worries about having been circumcised and potentially not having the tissue for it. I'm eager to see how the clitoral hood and labia minora evolves over time as it all continues to heal, and as the swelling goes down.
I just went to pee for the first time. I sat down and tried to make sure the whole area was nice and open, but wow it just sprayed downward everywhere. Probably because the whole region is still very swollen. Lesson learned! At least all of it went into the toilet, so I'm calling this a win, even though I had to shower off my lower half afterward.
It's so weird having phantom feelings. As I type this I'm actively feeling something against my clitoris, but I checked and as far as I can tell there's nothing there. Maybe it's just rubbing against the hood? The whole area is swollen right now, so perhaps that's what's going on. I went to pee again, and I felt this weird sensation as though my urethra was in a different location. I knew where I was aiming, and I was actively looking at my vulva at the time, and yet the feeling of starting to pee felt like it was coming from a different location in my abdomen. So strange. Then as I was cleaning up with some flushable wipes I realized I had some sensation in my labia minora that felt like the shaft of my former penis. To make things even more confusing, I'd brush up against my clitoris while cleaning, and then I'd brush up against my urethra. I was actively recognizing they are in two very different locations, yet they felt as though they were in the same location. Such a strange sensation. I was fully prepared for this kind of neural mapping confusion, and I just find this so fascinating, I'm actually loving it. I wonder how long it will take for it to fade.
The day after my bandages were removed I gave into the temptation of curiosity and allowed myself to be slightly aroused, purely from the sounds of my partner in the room. There was no erection sensation. Instead, the whole area started to get a bit more swollen, and I felt a kind of pulse resonate around my clitoris. As the pulse began I felt a kind of electric rush flow upward to my chest and then up my back, and my breathing intensified. It was incredible, I haven't felt that kind of rush despite zero physical sensation before. I had to calm myself down when I realized my vulva was getting engorged on top of already being swollen. I can't wait until I'm given the clear to play with this for real!
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